IT TAKES MORE THAN TIME...

I've been on the phone with him again. After a few days waiting, aching inside and knowing something was utterly wrong, I had to just do it.

We spoke. He listened. I cried. We cried. We spoke some more. So much going on inside and still, it just wasn't right.

Third day, I sent a text message. "Are you there? If you have time, I want to talk."

The phone rang almost immediately. We had so much to say. We'll have more still, I'm certain. For the first time ever, that irreversible decision became something entirely different. The decision was never permanent and to have left with good-bye was self-imposed torture, anger, fear...defeat. Will we be perfect? Hardly. Will we need time to work through life together? Certainly. The impasse evaporated into the ether. I didn't crawl from the abyss, I was catapulted.

I'd been working through most of the evening. Earlier, he'd phoned, excited, determined, planning. "I'll call you when I get home, around 10:30/11, okay? I love you."

I didn't really expect it before then. Then I did expect it. Now, I wish I hadn't heard it.